Self-esteem is necessary not just for mental health, but for physical health and other parts of life, such as healthy relationships, finding relief from stress, and navigating social situations. If you struggle with negative thoughts or otherwise face self-esteem issues, it is possible to boost your self-worth and overcome these battles, and therapy for low self-esteem can help. So, what exactly is self-esteem, and how self-esteem therapy in London can help you?
- What it means to have low self-esteem.
- Signs of low self-esteem to look out for in yourself or others.
- Where self-doubt and low self-worth might stem from.
- Ways therapy for low-self esteem can help you.
- The research behind EFT tapping.
- How to find self-esteem therapy in London.
What Is Self-Esteem?
In simple terms, self-esteem refers to a person’s belief in their own worth and positive traits or abilities. When you have healthy self-esteem, you have a balanced and realistic view of yourself and your value as a person. People with healthy self-esteem understand that they have strong suits and inherent or fundamental worth but are also able to admit their faults without it shattering their sense of self, understanding that no one is without flaws. Despite the fact that self-esteem issues can seriously interfere with mental health, relationships, social situations, work, education, and even physical well-being, not everyone who lives with low self-esteem knows it. Let’s discuss some of the signs of low self-esteem, and then, we’ll get into where low self-esteem comes from and what you can do about it.
“Remember, you have been criticizing yourself for years, and it hasn’t worked. Try approving of yourself and see what happens.” – Louise L. Hay
Signs Of Low Self-Esteem
Low self-esteem can manifest in a host of different ways, and the signs may vary from person to person. Some people hide low self-esteem from others or have trouble admitting that they have low self-esteem, even to themselves. In contrast, others are aware of the problem and experience more classic or expected traits of low self-esteem.
With that said, potential signs of low self-esteem can include but aren’t limited to:
- Negative self-talk or negative self-beliefs.
- Jealousy or comparison to others.
- People-pleasing behavior.
- A lack of personal boundaries.
- Difficulty expressing one’s needs to others.
- Difficulty apologizing or admitting that one is wrong.
- Difficulty accepting compliments or positive feedback.
- Fear of failure, which may make it tough to try new things.
- Self-doubt or trouble with decision-making.
Someone who hides their low self-esteem may come off as arrogant and might even take it out on others. They may feel a deep need to look “like the best” so that no one knows that they feel like an imposter deep down. Others will experience low self-esteem completely differently, allowing people to tramble on their boundaries and ultimately take advantage of their people-pleasing ways. Regardless of how it shows up for you, low self-esteem is something you want to work through.
Long-term, low self-esteem is linked to an array of different mental health problems. Mental health problems connected to low self-esteem include but aren’t necessarily limited to anxiety disorder, depression, and eating disorders. This doesn’t mean that everyone with low self-esteem will have a mental health condition or vice versa, but it does increase the likelihood.
Many people who experience the effects of low self-esteem, like self-doubt and self-worth, can connect them back to past or present experiences of some kind. What are some examples, then, of where self-doubt and self-worth might come from?
Where Do Self-Doubt And Low Self-Worth Come From?
Many people live with low self-esteem and the effects of low self-esteem, but the reasons why can vary significantly. Take a moment to explore where self-doubt and low self-worth might come from for you. Often, you will find that at least some of the cause is linked to past experiences, present experiences, or both.
Past experiences are a common root of self-esteem issues. An example of a past experience that could lead to self-doubt or low self-worth could be childhood abuse or bullying. That said, if you can’t link your own problem with self-esteem back to an experience in your early years, it doesn’t mean that you’re broken or that there was no marked cause or trigger, as present experiences can play a role as well.
Present experiences refer to your current life experiences. Job loss is one example of a present or current life experience that may lead to a dip in self-worth or a spike in self-doubt. Especially for those who closely connected their sense of self or their worth to a job or career, or who were the breadwinner in their family, this can be the case. In turn, one may feel worthless, feel guilty, or otherwise feel down on themselves after losing their job. Someone with higher self-esteem may be more able to overcome the adversity that comes with job loss, realize that job loss isn’t a reflection of their worth, and move forward. This is one example of how boosting your self-worth through means like therapy for low self-esteem can have a positive impact.
How Can Therapy For Self-Esteem Help you?
There are various modalities one may turn to for help with self-esteem. The emotional freedom technique, or EFT, is one of them. By using EFT, a practitioner can help you raise your self-esteem naturally. In therapy for self-esteem with an EFT practitioner, you’ll explore and ultimately answer questions such as:
Acceptance doesn’t always mean that you “like” something. Instead, it means that you understand the reality of a situation and make peace with it. So, for example, perhaps you dislike your height and find that this trait affects your self-esteem. However, you know you can’t change it. You might create acceptance by saying something along the lines of, “my height doesn’t define me, and it’s not a bad thing.” This change in thought process doesn’t happen overnight, so be mindful that it will take time. First, you’ll go over the hard thoughts. Then, you’ll work to create this healthier narrative of acceptance.
A limiting self-belief is exactly what it sounds like. Limiting self-beliefs refer to beliefs about yourself that limit you or hold you back. An example of a limiting self-belief would be “I’m not good enough to have a relationship” or “if I date someone, they will always leave.” Once you identify these beliefs with a therapist, you can work through them and create a healthier narrative through EFT. You’d explore why you don’t feel good enough, speak about it during a tapping session, and then talk about it again, reframing your unique situation. This can link back to creating acceptance. For example, “I am not perfect, but no one is. I am open to love and accept myself fully.”
In this context, triggers refer to any circumstances that may fuel thoughts of self-doubt, low self-worth, or low self-esteem. An example of a trigger might be getting negative feedback at work. It could also be something more broad, like stress. When you explore the question, “what are my triggers?” you get important information about yourself. Once you acknowledge triggers, you learn about what times in your life you might need to give yourself a higher level of self-care or take a moment to instill positive thoughts. Acknowledgment allows you to better self-regulate in the future so that triggers no longer affect relationships in your life, your ability to succeed at work or try new things, and so on. It can also be the first step to overcoming triggers in the case of EFT. One of the best parts about EFT is that EFT tapping gets to the root of the problem and helps you remove triggers rather than acting as a temporary fix.
Negative self-talk and negative thoughts about oneself are something we often keep inside, but they are toxic to the body and mind. Like limiting self-beliefs, we may not always be conscious of how frequently we have these thoughts or the ways they hold us back. Often, with EFT, you tap as you speak your honest thoughts, including negative self-talk you might’ve kept to yourself (or might’ve engaged in unconsciously) in the past. Similar to the trajectory we talked about in relation to creating acceptance, you will learn to challenge your negative thoughts and replace negative self-talk with realistic, positive thoughts over time. An EFT practitioner can guide you through the process safely and help you find lasting relief.
What Does The Research Say About EFT?
There is a ton of research behind EFT as a modality. Some studies suggest that EFT can even be more effective long-term than popular therapies like cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). Additionally, it is known to help with a range of different concerns, including anxiety, depression, trauma, and self-esteem. One study on nurses, for example, found that EFT was effective in raising self-esteem. After EFT for low self-esteem, you should feel more balanced and able to trust yourself, alongside other positive effects. EFT addresses the underlying cause of the problem and helps you overcome it, aiding you in establishing a sense of stability and peace. The longevity factor may be part of why it can be considered more effective than other therapies. Even if you can’t imagine it now, it is possible to overcome low self-esteem and stop it from negatively affecting your life.
If you’re looking for self-esteem therapy in London, there are a number of different ways to go about it. We’re here to help.
Sign Up For Self-Esteem Therapy In London
We make it easy to get started, and some clients share that they start to feel better after just one session. Schedule your complimentary consultation on our website, or read our FAQs to learn more about tapping.
Nguyen, D. T. (2019). Low Self-Esteem and Its Association With Anxiety, Depression, and Suicidal Ideation in Vietnamese Secondary School Students: A Cross-Sectional Study.
Bach, D. et al. (2019) Clinical Eft (emotional freedom techniques) improves multiple physiological markers of health, Journal of evidence-based integrative medicine. U.S. National Library of Medicine.
Journal of Medicine and Health Sciences (2022). The Effect of EFT (Emotional Freedom Technique) to the Self Esteem among Nurses.